The Lohan conspiracy

The other day I read that a circle of Hollywood celebs have entered a bet: The young, not so talented, bikini-famed actress Lindsay Lohan is expected to die before she reaches 25. This brought back a comparison in my mind, which I first made a few years back, when I was placed in L.A., constantly reading about this scandalous, coke-sniffing youngster: The similarity there is between Lindsay Lohan and Marilyn Monroe.

Three points that arguably cover both madonnas:
1) Amazing, charismatic looks and striking female curves.
2) Acting careers consisting of mainly poor performances.
3) Vocal careers that could be considered slighly doubtful.

So, I started thinking: Is all this a coincidence? Or is it all planned down to slightest detail by the monstrous machine behind Lindsay Lohan? Conspiracy theories steered my mind into a new investigation: Their names. I drew up this board of proof to cover my case:

At this point my hands started shaking. “Oh, my god!”, has noone seen this before? Am I the only person who sees what is actually going on here?